Tip for improving pain and posture

I have been doing something I learnt in chikong a while back and that was also taught to me by a Thai medicine doctor a long time ago.

And it’s been causing a beautiful stretch in the back of the skull that has been reducing the stagnation and stiffness in my neck and shoulders and even my rib cage by a lot!
In just three days! Can’t wait to see what further helps it will bring me!

It’s dead simple to do and no counter indications whatsoever.

Here goes

It’s just touching the roof of your mouth with the tip of your tongue and taking the tongue backwards until it reaches the soft part of the roof of the mouth.

I have been taking long walks like this or basically doing this all the time I can, front of tongue touching the soft part of the roof of the mouth.

Not difficult at all! And so very helpful! Give it a try and let me know here in a few days.

Fitting in a macho’istic world

I used to say that the more you think about feminism, the more you become a victim of it. I used to enter any room paying no heid to the fact that I’m a woman and making everyone take my professional opinion as, just that, my professional opinion.

Recently, it started bothering me. It’s started bothering me loads! Since a man raised his voice and bullied me. A rude man of no importance did that. More than once. And men around him who observed cowarded into saying it was nothing. And my boss took their word for it and says I am too sensitive. And her boss told me, before I even described the incident, that he thought it wasn’t macho’ism, that that didn’t exist in my company. And that’s it. All of a sudden, it’s normal, I’m weird, for not accepting being spoken to in a certain way. They gang up cos I don’t stay in my quiet corner. This guy’s boss tried to sleep with me once. I said no. After that my work and presence goes from being delightful to full of fault. It’s all so weird I sometimes wonder if maybe I’m not seeing things straight. How can this man raise his voice and it be normalised?

I don’t want to work with people like this anymore.

But the attempts to keep a leach on women are so pervasive! Even from your loved ones. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! I DO NOT FIT the tiny corner anyone has reserved for me! I must move on.

Merkel Out!

Can someone please get this woman out of government?

Can someone tell she’s just to manage Germany and hasn’t been elected to tell the rest of Europe how to manage themselves?

Can this woman with zero understanding of lesson 1.0 of Macroeconomics that managing national finances is not the same as bullying her children back home?

Can someone tell the Germans that embracing a woman like this is indulging in her evil disrespectful external ways?

Can someone please tell her it’s her fault that the demise of the EU is looming so very near!

Can someone please get the German empirealistic dreams on check? Didn’t go too well the previous two times, it’s bound not to go too well now.

Can someone please tell Germans that German morals are not world morals. That German rules are only good for Germany. And that in open discourse discourse needs to be open!

The EU is made of democratic countries. The peoples have to be respected. Repeatedly disrespecting them leads to this. Greeks can’t stand her. Portuguese and Spanish can’t stand her. Italians can’t stand her. Brits most certainly can’t stand her! And she still strouts around like the owner of it all.

I can tell you her disrespect for other nations and her firm drive to decide for others and impose her money driven shite is behind the disgust of many Brits for the EU and for good reason I have to admit, despite being a UKIP myself.

Warning to British men

The level of macho’ism is this country is shocking! Things that are absurdly normal here:

– meeting a guy and him expecting he can sleep with you with the flake of a hand.

– meeting a guy and his hand using the opportunity to explore your body at any chance.

– kissing a guy and him thinking your whole body is now his and not just your lips that you’ve just given. That quick hand up and down just makes me wanna run! And so I do! Tip: ever heard of Latin Lovers? That’s not what they do!

– no idea of seduction or rhythm or slow approximation. Which inevitably hurts any sensual fun for both parts!

– if women need to be half naked for you to notice them, there’s something very wrong in society.

– once a co-worker said out loud in a public place where there were lots of other men that I show my tities at work all the time! How horribly disrespectful!!! Just because I like the odd cleavage.

– assuming all these unrequested advances are inevitably well received and ultimately a compliment just serves to show how you’re programmed to take women’s opinion for granted. We don’t measure our worth by how many men want us!

– unfortunately many women here are also so wired 😦

– 

And all these things are considered normal! Or even sexy!!! And fun! Unacceptable objectifications! I will never get used to this

Some regularities I’ve found

– if women systematically feel they need to wear high heals, tight dresses and lots of make-up, it is a machist society not a liberated one.

Nothing against high heals and tight dresses once and again. But every time everywhere means there’s something very wrong.

– sex is better in countries where women are free but know their worth and make men know it too. 

Then men know they need to work on it if they’re to get any at all. And everyone has more fun.

– it points where you point it.

Living with Hypermobility and Deficient Posture Syndromes

I have often written about how to cope with these things and how to take effective action to reduce pain and improve your body’s efficiency. 

I have never written about what it’s like to actually live with these monsters on your shoulder day in day out. Having the pressures of modern life – traffic, work, noise you can’t control, love quarrels, family discussions, sex cravings, differences at work – when all along you know a drop might tilt your glass and take away your ability to very literally take the next step. Walking step I mean.

I work with maths. It has the power to take my brain away from any pain. I dealt with my Father’s one month agony until his passing by throwing myself into maths wholeheartedly, 12 hours a day, which was all the waking time outside his visiting hours.

I do maths for a living now. It’s like having a big lego box to play with. And I do it well. So I often have people around me asking for direction, needing me to give them reassurance and spoon-feed them the next step. My work involves a lot of pressure. And a lot of travel. And I mostly like that.

But with these annoying syndromes, it means my brain requires more “space” than others to coordinate my muscles. And sometimes it goes into over-run when too many things pile up and it has not had time to recuperate. And it just gets overwhelmed. So overwhelmed it switches off my ability to walk. Or gives me extreme dizziness. And all I can do is lie down and hope it will pass. Anytime anywhere. And sometimes with a good rest it all goes away. And sometimes a little meditation is all that’s needed. Sometimes not. Sometimes there is some obstacle in my posture that makes the noise not go away. I have had a full month of dizziness and another of headache with no idea what to do to stop it. Then I have to control my fear and think through the causes that might be making the obstacle. It is often something in my jaw  alignment  but sometimes it is some tight muscle for example. Then I need to find someone to help – a dentist, an osteopath, a massage therapist, normally the first. While all this is happening, there are still 15 people at my door asking for this and that. My nephew is still over-eating. My mother is still needing help with this and that. And I must just retreat. I have no other choice. And my boss gets upset. And I have to sit and watch this from my bed and just apologise and feel like shit. And if all this happens during the many months I live alone in London, then I’ll have to go through all that without even a person to bring me a cup of tea. And that’s so scary.

I have been known to be driving and not manage to walk when I get out of the car. To have some strong jaw or back click and just feel my muscle control switch off entirely. It happens because the click changes the relative position of my body and all of a sudden the brain has no idea where anything went and just goes “fuck this” and switches me off. And I never know when it’s going to happen. And as I travel the world doing my presentations that I do and going from airport to airport, I know this might happen any moment. And I have to manage the fear that it brings. Cos I don’t want this thing to dictate my life! More than it does! Cos I want to cycle and climb mountains and do healthy strong things too! And it feels alive and liberating when I do.

Lately I haven’t been managing to cope. I can’t quite manage the fear. I feel anxiety and panic over nothing. Shortness of breath. This started since I found out I needed an operation for something unrelated (?). My brain being more wired up than usual as regards the condition of my body (due to my syndromes) felt the invasion of the cut even if my consciousness registered no pain. Being told the option was between cut and risk of cancer also added to the feeling that I have no control. As no one does. But the illusion of control was what kept time going all my life. Hence the maths.

And so now I find myself entering panic states over nothing. Feeling my throat compress and shortness of breath, inability to sleep. I can still control it by saying “Ana, it’s just fear, it’s not real”, but the shortness of breath stays. I don’t know how to get myself back. And all along still 15 people outside my door ask for help with maths and think it’s all very very important. And my brain would much rather listen to them than face the fear of void. And has me ploughing along despite all the spites. And that doesn’t work.

And on top of it all, every so often I have to deal with someone thinking I’m weak, or vulnerable, or some physical therapist thinking they know so much more about this than I do, when they know so little. What they do not realise is that I have been dealing with sides of this for 15 years! Do you know how strong I’ve had to be to reach where I’ve reached with this Aquiles heal?! I’m just tired. Been doing it alone far too long.

Now that I’ve said all that, and aligning all this left to right has helped, I will go do some micro-cosmic orbit meditation and hope for the best.

The love within

Sometimes I feel so much love. It fills my chest and runs to every single last cell in my body, head to toe, tips of fingers and under nails, it’s so strong and so concrete it’s almost palpable. And it feels like love. I think it’s my love for the universe, for life, for being alive, for feeling so completely, I think it’s my love for me, for my story that brought me here, despite everything, to this point where my body is still capable of being flooded by love, and the immense gratitude that comes from deep within that my heart (and toes and tips of fingers) can still feel all this. Despite all the times I have been hurt. Despite the many nights I have cried in despair and utter loneliness. Despite the deepest wound that was my Father’s passing so very many years ago. I am still standing. And still kicking. And still capable of such incommensurable love that could fill the whole world or the whole room and that could enhibriate a worthy lover were such gods living on my bed (how I understand you Florbela Espanca, about gods and mere men*). I am. Therefore I am thankful. This ball is mine for the taking.

“Freedom isn’t free” is just wrong

It is a huge human sacrifice militaries and their families are asked to make when countries are active in war and they just shouldn’t be. But it is not to ensure the freedom and safety of Americans. American freedom is ensured by its Constitution and has been for many many a decade. It is to ensure the wealth of fat old men at the top of the food chain. Or why do you think Iraq was fought? Why do you think Angola was manipulated into 25 years of civil war? And so many other places? Americans and the world would be a lot safer if so many resources were not spent meddling in international politics (and complicated age-old human realities they cannot possibly begin to understand the many nuances to) since WWII. 9/11 simply wouldn’t have happened for example. Just wouldn’t. No amount of money is worth a single human life. Not American lives. Not non-American lives. Wake up World!! It is just not right to believe in the myth that it is freedom that soldiers fight and die for. It is just wrong to teach it to our children; they fight for greedy manipulative old men at the top of the foodchain and the money in their pockets. And the freedom talk is a very very wrong lullaby. Please stop believing in it!