The different flavours of pervasive macho’ism

Macho’ism is expecting women to have a behaviour that corresponds to what society expects of them as followers of the “stronger” men.

People tend to think that Islamic societies are about the most macho’istic. Women having to cover their hair even if they do not want to, or even if they do, is quite macho’istic. And there are countless other examples that we see on the news every day.

But I would argue that macho’ism is present in all cultures, just expressed over different axes:

– in Scotland it’s ok for women to get drunk, as long as it’s not from full pint glasses, cos that’s for men!

– in Northern European countries, many women give up their maiden names when they marry. I explain. If Mary was called Mary Smith, where the Smith name came to her through an endless line of her forefathers, when she marries her name becomes Mary Goldsmith and her identity disappears to be overtaken by her man’s family line.

– if a woman in the UK gets a divorce, she gets half the house, half the money and full parental rights. You may call this feminism. I call it macho’ism. The law assumes we are poor little helpless girls and protects us beyond need and reason. We are equal, Law!!

– on a date, many cultures expect the man to pay. “Dude, I’m a working woman, I make more cash than you, I pay my own shit”! Many women accept this as right and take profit from it. They are macho’ists!

– a woman is expected not to interact much with restaurant staff in way too many places. “Dude, I know how to order my own meal, sorry you can’t handle that!”

– in Southern Europe, where I’m from, men will not ask a woman for help at a man’s job. Assembling furniture is a man’s job. A wonderful Lebanese friend of mine once asked his wife in front of a Spaniard her opinion on how to assemble that IKEA stuff. Macho’ism point goes to Spaniard here.

– a common mistake Western marriages do is, when babies are born, men are unaware that women are biologically programmed to mind only the baby and expect their men to mind the environment, keeping threats away and needing nothing at all. I have seen many marriages eventually die cos the poor little Western couple had no idea this would happen and did not know how to handle it! So when a baby is coming I make a point to tell this to future parents. My Lebanese friend told me “I know, my brother told me”! Uauh! Point for you Dude, for knowing how to care for women’s needs without putting them down.

– US songs are all about bitches and their presidential candidate says all the things you’ve heard. Brazilian politicians are also going on about “stay at home look pretty wives”. Disgusting men whose mothers didn’t teach them anything, maybe cos they too enjoyed all those free drinks at turn out to be so expensive to our place in society, selling us all out for nothing!

Before you throw rocks at other people’s cultures, first check your own. And all the ways you’re lying to yourself about the things you take for granted. There are no superior cultures. Just differences that weigh each other out. And if you think otherwise, you and your peers are very very silly and closing off to great learn potential that comes from observing others with an open mind.


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