Is he really to blame or should we instead blame the fact that 50,000 people wanted to cross the Mediterranean safely and could only trust horrible resources because no safe official boats will take them?
Let’s tell our governamental we’ve had enough of setting people up to die
So your parents didn’t love each other. Well, not bidirectionally anyway. Barely had time to notice you or your brother growing up among all the fighting. Your infancy was full of thinking your world might implode any moment now.
This makes your concept of love. For a while you think you can outrun it and maybe make a normal life. Then one disillusionement. Then another. And your brain figured it out. There is no such thing as love. Not for you anyway. Maybe for people who had it easy playing with dolls. Everyone is a disappointment sooner or later. And the best you can do for yourself is suck it up and enjoy life. Travel, enjoy your cognitions, your work, your passing friends, the sun on your face, bet of self-development, more meditation, who knows maybe even nirvana, cut your ties with the past and keep walking. It’s what we’re on earth for anyway.
So you met a girl. And it is the time for the first kiss in intimacy. And to envelop her in slowly in a velvety smog of warmth and trust that makes her slowly want to blossom into your hands and give herself to you heart and soul and most importantly full-bodily.
So what do you do? Smother her with the pressings of your desire? Go for a hand, catch a glimpse of a breast, steal a squeeze of her bump, in a dance that is way out of sync with hers, that she eventually relinquishes to out of tiredness? Or wait patiently thoroughly enjoying what she has already given and wanting the next thing only when you feel her quaver for it as well?
The most seductive moment of my life happened with my Greek ex of a 4.5 years relationship. First kiss. Lasted 4 hours. At a point I was so far gone into another realm of perception that I looked at him from the top of my bent backwards neck, found his lips on my chest and thought “uauh, you’re here too!”. I had all my clothes on and his hands or any other of his body parts had been nowhere people might call “sexual”. And right there and then I knew I was his. Through thick or thin.
Before we got to that though, at a point he slowly moved the strap of my braw just a little off my shoulder. It was a cute little strap with two strands. I wasn’t ready yet for that, so without stopping the kiss a moment later I pulled one of the strands up. Yet another moment later, in the same sweet rhythm, he pulled the other one up too! So wonderful to be wanted without rush, without having someone else’s rhythm imposed on me. Sensuality, as dance, is about coordinating with each other’s rhythms and tuning into a dance that is made of your blood flow and mine, a song all our very own.
And yes, we slept together that very night. And many others after that. And I never felt he had come to just take and plunder and not give. And sensuality, sexuality and delight never stopped flowing between us. And even when other things made it all fall apart, I still look back at that night and think “that’s just how it should be”.
Learn to dance with your woman. You can if you let it. Flow with it.
How you put it is how it stays. If you always place your buddy in your underwear in the same position, when it gets happy and inflates it’s going to have the most common shape it has at rest. If that was tilted to the left, it will be tilted to the left. If you rest it tilted to the right, it will tilt to the right in passion too. Apart from unesthaetic, when you enter your loving woman, it will reach her only to one side. And that can be frustrating for her. And for you: think of all the fun her other side might have offered you if only you could reach it.
Upright avoids silly tilts, but is not ideal either, as it will end up challenging your ability to embrace different angles.
What you want is diversity: one day to the right, another to the left, one day upright, the next downwards. Let your baby find comfort in any direction and when it grows all proud it will be able to explore your Lady’s entrails in all directions too, wherever she’d like you to tickle her today, wherever you’d like to get to.
Good luck 🙂