So you met a girl. And it is the time for the first kiss in intimacy. And to envelop her in slowly in a velvety smog of warmth and trust that makes her slowly want to blossom into your hands and give herself to you heart and soul and most importantly full-bodily.
So what do you do? Smother her with the pressings of your desire? Go for a hand, catch a glimpse of a breast, steal a squeeze of her bump, in a dance that is way out of sync with hers, that she eventually relinquishes to out of tiredness? Or wait patiently thoroughly enjoying what she has already given and wanting the next thing only when you feel her quaver for it as well?
The most seductive moment of my life happened with my Greek ex of a 4.5 years relationship. First kiss. Lasted 4 hours. At a point I was so far gone into another realm of perception that I looked at him from the top of my bent backwards neck, found his lips on my chest and thought “uauh, you’re here too!”. I had all my clothes on and his hands or any other of his body parts had been nowhere people might call “sexual”. And right there and then I knew I was his. Through thick or thin.
Before we got to that though, at a point he slowly moved the strap of my braw just a little off my shoulder. It was a cute little strap with two strands. I wasn’t ready yet for that, so without stopping the kiss a moment later I pulled one of the strands up. Yet another moment later, in the same sweet rhythm, he pulled the other one up too! So wonderful to be wanted without rush, without having someone else’s rhythm imposed on me. Sensuality, as dance, is about coordinating with each other’s rhythms and tuning into a dance that is made of your blood flow and mine, a song all our very own.
And yes, we slept together that very night. And many others after that. And I never felt he had come to just take and plunder and not give. And sensuality, sexuality and delight never stopped flowing between us. And even when other things made it all fall apart, I still look back at that night and think “that’s just how it should be”.
Learn to dance with your woman. You can if you let it. Flow with it.