Forgiveness gender bias

The most trusting thing a woman can do is place her sins in the hands of her man, awaiting his loving absolution. And the worst thing a man can do is call her a tramp and join the legions of others who haven’t walked her shoes.

The world is a harsh place for women. For things that in men are called their nature, women are demonised and vilified and considered to deserve no respect.

Oh but we do

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Placebo effect and he healing power of the brain

As we know, the scientific method is based on holding a test sample and a control sample, whereby the control sample serves to measure the self-healing power of the brain that comes simply from the passage of time or the sensation that the belief the person who subject to an experiment has of its power to make them better. Instead of just researching chemicals, I wish a lot more research were done into how to potentiate the measurable self-healing power of the brain. The brain, that vast resource of which it is said we only master a mere 10%. Instead, often placebo effect is spoken of disrespectfully, as in non-scientific, as if worthless.

Personally and through many many anecdotes I find potentiating feelings of happiness and exercise is a great source of self-healing. A good friend of mine had been postponing multi-sclerosis advances for 15 years by making himself travel the world as often as possible and by laughing and joking all the time and by being hard on exercise, in this order. His senses get entertained with the sites, his body sees that if he’s doing all this he can’t be that sick, and instead of its immune system getting orders to attack its own nerve sells so hard, it gets orders of staying on top of the bike or checking out this amazing new culture.

The other day another friend was coming out of an infection after two days in the hospital. She had also just fought with her boyfriend and, being a foreigner in his land, felt exposed to the elements. She felt exhausted by any walk at all. I visited and stayed with her in a nice hotel. The feeling of comfort and safety over sleep were enough for her brain to get out of stress mode and get her confident in her health again.

That’s the thing to research scientifically. Getting your brain out of stress mode. Not via psychedelic pills. But via happiness and safety. Especially on that stage where the body has fought off the infection and now just needs to believe it. For myself I know my back heals faster when I know there’s someone there looking after me, or better a friend who chats to me and makes me feel safe and happy. Then the brain kick-starts the healing. Cos it comes out of stress. Let’s invest more in this.

Tip for improving pain and posture

I have been doing something I learnt in chikong a while back and that was also taught to me by a Thai medicine doctor a long time ago.

And it’s been causing a beautiful stretch in the back of the skull that has been reducing the stagnation and stiffness in my neck and shoulders and even my rib cage by a lot!
In just three days! Can’t wait to see what further helps it will bring me!

It’s dead simple to do and no counter indications whatsoever.

Here goes

It’s just touching the roof of your mouth with the tip of your tongue and taking the tongue backwards until it reaches the soft part of the roof of the mouth.

I have been taking long walks like this or basically doing this all the time I can, front of tongue touching the soft part of the roof of the mouth.

Not difficult at all! And so very helpful! Give it a try and let me know here in a few days.

Fitting in a macho’istic world

I used to say that the more you think about feminism, the more you become a victim of it. I used to enter any room paying no heid to the fact that I’m a woman and making everyone take my professional opinion as, just that, my professional opinion.

Recently, it started bothering me. It’s started bothering me loads! Since a man raised his voice and bullied me. A rude man of no importance did that. More than once. And men around him who observed cowarded into saying it was nothing. And my boss took their word for it and says I am too sensitive. And her boss told me, before I even described the incident, that he thought it wasn’t macho’ism, that that didn’t exist in my company. And that’s it. All of a sudden, it’s normal, I’m weird, for not accepting being spoken to in a certain way. They gang up cos I don’t stay in my quiet corner. This guy’s boss tried to sleep with me once. I said no. After that my work and presence goes from being delightful to full of fault. It’s all so weird I sometimes wonder if maybe I’m not seeing things straight. How can this man raise his voice and it be normalised?

I don’t want to work with people like this anymore.

But the attempts to keep a leach on women are so pervasive! Even from your loved ones. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! I DO NOT FIT the tiny corner anyone has reserved for me! I must move on.

Merkel Out!

Can someone please get this woman out of government?

Can someone tell she’s just to manage Germany and hasn’t been elected to tell the rest of Europe how to manage themselves?

Can this woman with zero understanding of lesson 1.0 of Macroeconomics that managing national finances is not the same as bullying her children back home?

Can someone tell the Germans that embracing a woman like this is indulging in her evil disrespectful external ways?

Can someone please tell her it’s her fault that the demise of the EU is looming so very near!

Can someone please get the German empirealistic dreams on check? Didn’t go too well the previous two times, it’s bound not to go too well now.

Can someone please tell Germans that German morals are not world morals. That German rules are only good for Germany. And that in open discourse discourse needs to be open!

The EU is made of democratic countries. The peoples have to be respected. Repeatedly disrespecting them leads to this. Greeks can’t stand her. Portuguese and Spanish can’t stand her. Italians can’t stand her. Brits most certainly can’t stand her! And she still strouts around like the owner of it all.

I can tell you her disrespect for other nations and her firm drive to decide for others and impose her money driven shite is behind the disgust of many Brits for the EU and for good reason I have to admit, despite being a UKIP myself.

Warning to British men

The level of macho’ism is this country is shocking! Things that are absurdly normal here:

– meeting a guy and him expecting he can sleep with you with the flake of a hand.

– meeting a guy and his hand using the opportunity to explore your body at any chance.

– kissing a guy and him thinking your whole body is now his and not just your lips that you’ve just given. That quick hand up and down just makes me wanna run! And so I do! Tip: ever heard of Latin Lovers? That’s not what they do!

– no idea of seduction or rhythm or slow approximation. Which inevitably hurts any sensual fun for both parts!

– if women need to be half naked for you to notice them, there’s something very wrong in society.

– once a co-worker said out loud in a public place where there were lots of other men that I show my tities at work all the time! How horribly disrespectful!!! Just because I like the odd cleavage.

– assuming all these unrequested advances are inevitably well received and ultimately a compliment just serves to show how you’re programmed to take women’s opinion for granted. We don’t measure our worth by how many men want us!

– unfortunately many women here are also so wired 😦

– 

And all these things are considered normal! Or even sexy!!! And fun! Unacceptable objectifications! I will never get used to this

Some regularities I’ve found

– if women systematically feel they need to wear high heals, tight dresses and lots of make-up, it is a machist society not a liberated one.

Nothing against high heals and tight dresses once and again. But every time everywhere means there’s something very wrong.

– sex is better in countries where women are free but know their worth and make men know it too. 

Then men know they need to work on it if they’re to get any at all. And everyone has more fun.

– it points where you point it.

Living with Hypermobility and Deficient Posture Syndromes

I have often written about how to cope with these things and how to take effective action to reduce pain and improve your body’s efficiency. 

I have never written about what it’s like to actually live with these monsters on your shoulder day in day out. Having the pressures of modern life – traffic, work, noise you can’t control, love quarrels, family discussions, sex cravings, differences at work – when all along you know a drop might tilt your glass and take away your ability to very literally take the next step. Walking step I mean.

I work with maths. It has the power to take my brain away from any pain. I dealt with my Father’s one month agony until his passing by throwing myself into maths wholeheartedly, 12 hours a day, which was all the waking time outside his visiting hours.

I do maths for a living now. It’s like having a big lego box to play with. And I do it well. So I often have people around me asking for direction, needing me to give them reassurance and spoon-feed them the next step. My work involves a lot of pressure. And a lot of travel. And I mostly like that.

But with these annoying syndromes, it means my brain requires more “space” than others to coordinate my muscles. And sometimes it goes into over-run when too many things pile up and it has not had time to recuperate. And it just gets overwhelmed. So overwhelmed it switches off my ability to walk. Or gives me extreme dizziness. And all I can do is lie down and hope it will pass. Anytime anywhere. And sometimes with a good rest it all goes away. And sometimes a little meditation is all that’s needed. Sometimes not. Sometimes there is some obstacle in my posture that makes the noise not go away. I have had a full month of dizziness and another of headache with no idea what to do to stop it. Then I have to control my fear and think through the causes that might be making the obstacle. It is often something in my jaw  alignment  but sometimes it is some tight muscle for example. Then I need to find someone to help – a dentist, an osteopath, a massage therapist, normally the first. While all this is happening, there are still 15 people at my door asking for this and that. My nephew is still over-eating. My mother is still needing help with this and that. And I must just retreat. I have no other choice. And my boss gets upset. And I have to sit and watch this from my bed and just apologise and feel like shit. And if all this happens during the many months I live alone in London, then I’ll have to go through all that without even a person to bring me a cup of tea. And that’s so scary.

I have been known to be driving and not manage to walk when I get out of the car. To have some strong jaw or back click and just feel my muscle control switch off entirely. It happens because the click changes the relative position of my body and all of a sudden the brain has no idea where anything went and just goes “fuck this” and switches me off. And I never know when it’s going to happen. And as I travel the world doing my presentations that I do and going from airport to airport, I know this might happen any moment. And I have to manage the fear that it brings. Cos I don’t want this thing to dictate my life! More than it does! Cos I want to cycle and climb mountains and do healthy strong things too! And it feels alive and liberating when I do.

Lately I haven’t been managing to cope. I can’t quite manage the fear. I feel anxiety and panic over nothing. Shortness of breath. This started since I found out I needed an operation for something unrelated (?). My brain being more wired up than usual as regards the condition of my body (due to my syndromes) felt the invasion of the cut even if my consciousness registered no pain. Being told the option was between cut and risk of cancer also added to the feeling that I have no control. As no one does. But the illusion of control was what kept time going all my life. Hence the maths.

And so now I find myself entering panic states over nothing. Feeling my throat compress and shortness of breath, inability to sleep. I can still control it by saying “Ana, it’s just fear, it’s not real”, but the shortness of breath stays. I don’t know how to get myself back. And all along still 15 people outside my door ask for help with maths and think it’s all very very important. And my brain would much rather listen to them than face the fear of void. And has me ploughing along despite all the spites. And that doesn’t work.

And on top of it all, every so often I have to deal with someone thinking I’m weak, or vulnerable, or some physical therapist thinking they know so much more about this than I do, when they know so little. What they do not realise is that I have been dealing with sides of this for 15 years! Do you know how strong I’ve had to be to reach where I’ve reached with this Aquiles heal?! I’m just tired. Been doing it alone far too long.

Now that I’ve said all that, and aligning all this left to right has helped, I will go do some micro-cosmic orbit meditation and hope for the best.